i haven’t quite decided if i’m going to sleep tonight or not. it’s late. i’ve been up since about 6:30 or 7 this (yesterday) morning. mostly i’m afraid to go to sleep. well, not really to sleep, but to lay down and try to let my head empty– that’s what’s frightening me. i’m afraid then when i try to shutdown, i’ll breakdown and start crying my crazy head off.

so instead, i sit here, playing freecell and singing outloud to save it for a rainy day over and over and over again. it’s not as easy as one might thing since my eyes have decided to stop focusing.