five years ago tonight, iwilldare.com blinked into existence. oddly enough, the first post quotes a replacements’ lyric. or at least i always identify it as a replacements’ lyric. i started iwilldare.com because my friend orangetim, whom i ‘met’ through a soul coughing newsgroup, told me it was cool. sadly, i think tim has given up the blog ghost, or i’d link to him. the idea for a web site actually started months before that first post. i think i spent three weeks trying to come up with just the right domain name, running each one past orange tim.
“no,” he said. “you’ll know it as soon as it hits you.”
a few days later, i e-mailed him.
“you’re right,” he wrote back. “it is.”
that was five years ago. five years ago i was working a customer service job and could barely afford my rent. five years ago i was driving a 1989 chrysler new yorker that ran when it felt like it. i was only 28. it seemed much older then than it does now.
i feel as though i should say something profound or reflect back on all the goodness that iwilldare.com has brought into my life. but that would take entirely more energy than i have at the moment. because, when you have to look back at goodness, you have to filter through the badness, and there is a lot of badness in all those damn archives.
five years is a long damn time. mostly i’m amazed that i’ve stuck with it for so long. i’m not known for my follow-through and stick-with-itness. but here i am, five years later.
here i am. what the hell do i do now?