the mean reds have invited themselves over for the day. it’s pretty bad, my heart is racing and eyes stinging with tears that i refuse to shed. i don’t have any idea what might have brought them on. i know i’ve spent a lot of time reading this long weekend, and when i spend so much time by myself inside my head, that’s sometimes an invitation for the mean reds. but this time i made it a point to have contact with the outside world at least once a day. i even left the house every day this weekend. that’s way more than i usually do, but still the mean reds are here.
this pisses me off. i did everything to make sure the mean reds didn’t sneak in, way more than i usually do. i figure if i’m going to go through all the effort of being social and going out, the least the mean reds can do is stay away. it’s not even february.
i’m trying really quite hard not to give into them, not to take off my clothes and crawl into bed and stay there until the tears stop.