standing on the edge of the hoover dam

i have that bob mould song stuck in my head (shut up, i know it’s technically sugar). specifically the “i’m on the centerline right between two states of mind” part. seems fitting, i suppose.

did i ever tell you about that time the TTHM and i totally stopped talking for like two months? i didn’t think so. because during that time he told me i could no longer write about him on iwilldare.com. i was, of course, pissed off and he was, perhaps, right or sorta right. ok, i’m still not sure about it.

see, he didn’t want me to write about him anymore. he thought it invaded his privacy. i thought he was censoring me, which in my mind is the most vilest thing you can do to a person.

but now, the more i think about it, the more i think perhaps maybe he was right. i’m not sure, still. i don’t know where to draw the line.

part of me thinks that it’s my life and i should be able to write about whatever i want in MY LIFE. but, you know, since i’m not a hermit and there are other people in my life, that means that sometimes i’m writing about their lives. and generally this isn’t a problem. but there are somethings that happen to the people in my life that are intensely private. things i long to write about, but don’t feel that i should since it’s their life and not mine, even though what has happened to them makes me pause for reflection and want to write about it.

and really where do you draw the line between censoring yourself and protecting the privacy of other people?

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6 Comments

  1. Joe 12.Aug.04 at 10:22 am

    The best rule on this is simple: treat your friends with the utmost respect. If you don’t, then you aren’t deserving of their friendship.

    Reply
  2. jodi 12.Aug.04 at 10:28 am

    well duh, i do that anyway. it’s not about disrespecting. it’s not about talking trash about my freinds. it’s about talking how things in my life effect me. it’s about discussing feelings and pondering stuff.

    Reply
  3. Wendy 12.Aug.04 at 11:26 am

    I know where you’re coming from. There’s plenty that I feel like I have to leave off when I write, because I don’t want anyone’s feelings to get hurt. I mean, it wouldn’t be like I was bashing them by any means at all – just, you know, discussing feelings and pondering stuff. I guess I tend to think of the feelings of other people, if I know they’re reading what I write. Otherwise, I guess it’s fair game. Which, I just noticed, makes me feel like I enjoy talking behind my friends’ backs.

    Reply
  4. Thomas 12.Aug.04 at 1:52 pm

    I think that when you delve into other people’s lives, they should give you permission first. It’s not censoring you, it merely repecting that the story you’re about to offer doesn’t really belong to you. It’s like copyright laws or plagurism; The ideas and words are in your head, but you must always respect who let you share them, and if they meant it to be shared with everyone, or just with you.

    And no matter what, always keep a promise, friend or foe. Trust is hardest to reclaim, especially when it’s from yourself.

    Reply
  5. Jo 12.Aug.04 at 8:18 pm

    I wrestle with this all the time, especially writing about my kids. I think to myself, do I want her reading this later in life? But then again, I want to write what’s true, and try to delve into my own feelings. I’ve offended my husband a few times on my blog. I have no answer to this question.

    Reply
  6. rolpol 13.Aug.04 at 5:00 pm

    I’ve only had a blog for a little whie but I have recieved criticism from someone because of their anonymity-preserving nickname; ‘jodphurs’. My rule is not to write anything I wouldn’t say to a person’s face, and to assume that no-one’s reading anyway!

    Reply

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