i’ve gotten four loads of laundry done. i had to wash the star sheets in anticipation of using the spaceman spiff duvet cover. the couch has been as de-cathaired as humanly possible and the dishes are done. next up is the office and the kitchen. i can’t remember the last time my apartment has been this clean (clean being a relative term and all, some people will take one look at it and think it a sty, but, to me it’s clean).

i’ve decided that death takes a week. i feel as though i was picked up and transported somewhere else and then just dropped right back where i left off, only now it’s a week later. it’s as though i was banished to some cornfield for a week and no time should have passed. only it did pass and i’m gonna have a hell of a lot of catch up to play come tomorrow. but for now it feels like september 14.

i haven’t been thinking about grammu all that much. sometimes it’ll fly up in my face when i least expect it. like vaccumming and suddenly it’ll hit me, grammu’s dead! grammu’s dead! it’s weird, because eight days ago i had a grandparent and now i have none. the suddeness and permancy of it all is breathtaking.

perhaps i’m a fast mourner. i’m not as sad as i think i should be. her death was awful and ugly, and if i were her, i’d be pissed that it didn’t come a bit sooner. those last two days where she was alive, well that’s no way to live. i rejoice that it was only two days and not two weeks or two months. i miss her. even though i didn’t see her as much as i should have the past few months, it was just a comfort knowing she was there with lola, smoking her head off, playing cards and calling everyone an asshole. now it feels a little bit emptier inside.

in other news, the wretched wretched poem is the #1 request of the week. most everyone wants a copy of it. blech. it’s just so bad. i could have done better. it’s rife with cliche and they loved it. which makes me sorta sad. they don’t even know how good it could have been.

ok, back to cleaning.