it’s like someone took the track that makes my mind go from one logical thought to the next and blew it up.
the phone rang, and of course i was giddy. because i’m giddy everytime the phone rings.
“hi,” sister #4 said, “i’m calling to give you an update about me.”
“ok,” i said. because, you know, she’s never called to give me any sort of update ever.
“i went to the doctor today and it didn’t go well.”
that’s about the time my stomach dropped to my toes.
“i have to go get an ultrasound done on my breast,” she said and started to cry.
“ok,” i said my voice doing amazingly well at sounding calm and in control. she was sobbing and i had to go into responsible big sister mode. “it’s going to be ok. don’t worry about anything until we know there’s something to worry about.”
she went on to tell me how she has lesions around the nipple of her left breast. how she went to the doctor to have it checked out and how it might, maybe, could possibly be some sort of hair follicle something or other.
but the doctor wants her to go to the breast clinic to make sure. to rule everything out. they don’t want to give her a mamogram because she’s only 22. apparently an ultrasound will figure things out. she has an appointment for next tuesday afternoon.
thanks to the magic of the internet, sister #4 has diagnosed herself with paget’s disease. i kept telling her to stay positive.
what else could i say? i can’t let on that i’m absolutely terrified. that even the thought of her having cancer makes me want to curl up on my bed and never move.
darling one’s, i’m so very scared i can’t even see straight. i don’t know what to do.
i’m so scared.
*hugs*
I’ll hold ood thoughts for your sister. It’s ok to be afraid and it’s ok to let her know that you’re worried as well. You can be worried -and- be strong and positive.
I have no advice, no clever comment, no smarmy remark about breasts; I only offer my support. There are precious few times I pray; For your sister and for you, today is one of those times. I’m sure all your “darling ones” do so as well.
More *hugs*
hugs
I got a mammo when I was 30, and they really didn’t want to do it, but my doctor insisted. That came after the ultrasound. My breasts are lumpier than hotel pillows at this point and it constantly freaks me out. Good that she went to the doctor though – very, very good.
I don’t want to be negative or scary here, but breast cancer is showing up more and more in women in their twenties. Blame it on whatever you will, but age is becoming less and less a determining factor for breast cancer, and most doctors worth their salt will tell you that. Even paget’s disease isn’t ‘supposed’ to occur until after middle age. What I’m saying is, demand a mammogram, or go somewhere less 19th century, if there is any question.