because i wanna play along, and beause i couldn’t write anything original lately if you paid me and because i’m swiping the idea from carol who swiped it from kristine and because it reminds me of the exercises we did in high school creative writing class, i present:

If I were a stone, I would be the little pebble that gets stuck in your shoe.
If I were a tree, I would be a crabapple tree.
If I were a bird, I would be big bird (yeah, the one from sesame street, because really i am not a big fan of birds maybe it’s because of the hitchcock movie or maybe because i am so tall an afraid birds are always gonna run into my head, ‘sides don’t you think big bird is quite appropriate?).
If I were a machine, I would be otto (this here laptop).
If I were a fruit, I would be a raspberry.
If I were a flower, I would be a tiger lily.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be a sunshiney day in early june when the lilacs are in bloom and the air smells so sweet, you just like to stand outside and breathe.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be a stand-up bass.
If I were an animal, I would be a giraffe.
If I were a color, I would be majenta (i want to be burnt sienna, but just because that’s the color i want to be, doesn’t mean that’s the color i am. really, i’d probably be something obnoxious like crayola’s mac and cheese).
If I were a fragrance, I would be Downy, you know the fabric softener.
If I were an emotion, I would be perplexed.
If I were a vegetable, I would be a green pepper.
If I were a song, I would be achin’ to be by the replacements.
If I were a food, I would be a corndog.