***my personality analysis by televac***

you have trouble getting sufficient rest and relaxation.
you are always ready to have a good time.
anything out of the ordinary fascinates you.
you have a special way of influencing others with your ideas.
you have a real fear of failure.
you never give up your privacy or your right to do as you please.
you understand life, its difficulties, and problems.
you think it is sensible to be happy.
you have great investigative ability.
you enjoy sincere compliments but dislike flattery.
you enjoy flirting occassionally.
you are quick to detect the slightest error.

see what you can find at the fair? they told me all that with only a signature.

you really gotta love any place, where not only is it socially acceptable– but you are encouraged to eat corndogs and drink beer before 9 a.m. and that is just what i did. the novelty of food on a stick will never wear off. i love foods on sticks, especially corndogs. the only food on a stick i had to pass on were the scottish eggs. hard-boiled eggs wrapped in sausage. even now it gives me the shivers of disgust. they couldn’t have been too great because my brothers-in-law couldn’t even choke down the whole thing. this is from the dynamic duo who eat buffalo burgers and alligator.

yeah so, the Experience Music Project’s electric bus– giant disappointment. i hauled ass all the way through the tractors, lawn mowers and snow-blowers to the very edge of the fair for nothing. NOTHING. i paid my five dollars and my heart beat with excitment. i entered the electric bus with anticipation coursing through my veins. here, i thought i could worship at the altar of the replacements, pay my respects to husker du. at least, that’s what the lady in the newspaper had said. LIAR! LIAR! her pants must surely be on fire. there were no replacements, no husker du. there were six or seven tvs showing what appeared to be vh-1 “behind the music” knock-offs. some people whining about how grunge was over-saturated back in 1989 (oh, to be so hipper-than-thou).

there were some cool music activites. you could mix your own song, subtracting and adding bass, drums, lead/background vocals, etc. but c’mon five dollars?? they made you walk through a dark tunnel, shit i forgot what it was called, well you were supposed to just experience the music all around you. be enveloped by the music. it was so loud the bass made the floor vibrate. that was pretty cool. but really, not as cool as the jetsons sidewalks at the airport.

the electric bus wasn’t the biggest disappointment of the day. no, that paled in comparision to the devestation at the leinie’s lodge. yes! i escape the fam. and park my ass in my favorite beer garden, the leinie lodge. oooohhh, beer. a whole lodge dedicated to my favorite beer. woohoo! beer nirvana. of course, i do find it a bit odd that the great Minnesota get-together has an entire lodge dedicated to a beer brewed in chippewa falls, Wisconsin. but i love leinies so i don’t let it bother me too much.

i belly up to the bar, corndog #2 in hand– it’s roughly noon and i order up a tall, frosty leinenkugel’s honey weiss. a perfect beer to accompany my corndog (why, i just had the same combination for breakfast hours ago).

the leinie lodge didn’t have honey weiss. or leinie’s red. or leinie’s bock. or leinie’s northwoods. yeah. you wanna know what the leinie lodge did have?? miller genuine draft, killian’s irish red, summit pale ale and leinenkugel’s (for the uninitiated that’s line-en-koo-gels) original. it was tragic. me, leinie lodge member 40222 couldn’t get an icy honey weiss to go with her corndog. yes, tragedy at the fair.

in other fair news. i almost ran into the guv. yes, jesse “the guv” ventura was wandering the grounds, i was hustling my butt to the aforementioned leinie lodge, when i managed to wade through his entourage. i had beer on my mind and i guess i just didn’t question why all these people with guns were around. a head-on collision was avoided when a kindly state-trooper in one of them doofy hats caught me and told me to watch out. i think it’d been kinda funny to butt heads with ol’ jesse. i bet he’s never met a woman taller than he is.

so yes, our state fair is a great state fair, don’t miss it, don’t even be late! (i love the state fair jingle). tomorrow, more about semisonic.