the minion Archives · I Will Dare

it’s just gonna be the minion appreciation day because well, it’s her last day

Jodi Chromey — Wed, 04 May 2005 18:38:01 +0000

“those who laugh loud also cry hard,” i said, reading from the fortune i had just slipped out of my cookie. “ha!” the minion said. “often one right after the other, repeatedly throughout the day.”...

Continue

The post it’s just gonna be the minion appreciation day because well, it’s her last day appeared first on I Will Dare.

quote of the day

Jodi Chromey — Wed, 04 May 2005 16:51:50 +0000

the minion on interpreting the dream she had last night: “i think freud would say that i’m not cut out for marriage, or penises and i turn into a strange, arid-climate mammal when approached by...

Continue

The post quote of the day appeared first on I Will Dare.

four more days four more days four more days until christmas break

Jodi Chromey — Mon, 20 Dec 2004 04:16:26 +0000

i’m a little excited by the upcoming christmas break. i get to take an entire ELEVEN DAYS IN A ROW off from Hell, Inc. ELEVEN! it’s going to give me some kinda good practice for unemployment. i can’t hardly wait.

of course i am focusing all my attention on the upcoming break and totally ignoring my complete and utter lack of anything even resembling readiness for the actual christmas holiday. though, i did buy cheese and crackers, my contribution to the holiday table. in fact, i have made a conscious decision to make it the most hellish holiday shopping experience on earth by waiting until wednesday to finish up. how’s that for masochism? besides, i figure it’ll give me something to write about.

now here are two questions you can help me with darling ones.
1.) this is the minion’s last week at Hell, Inc. they are not renewing her contract (boo). so as the evil overlord who has ruled her working day with an iron fist, do i get her a going-away/christmas gift?
2.) this one is for the girls: when it’s really cold out and your car hasn’t totally warmed up, do you drive one-handed while shoving the other hand between your legs to keep it warm? inqurining minds want to know if i’m the only weirdo who does this.

The post four more days four more days four more days until christmas break appeared first on I Will Dare.

crushes: a new list by the makers of the old list

Jodi Chromey — Thu, 02 Dec 2004 18:17:17 +0000

1. every 20something boy who works at caribou coffee. i just love them coffeeboys.
2. the way that tri-kap, a coworker, calls me the evil overlord.
3. the fact that artguy is not bugging the shit out of me today.
4. Maile Meloy.
5. i do believe, that there is no five.
6. how the minion had to try to talk herself out of feeling guilty for generally not liking people until she decided that it’s ok because a lot of people really kinda suck.
7. bookslut. i’ve been reading for ages but just lately it’s so clicked with me that i just want to kiss it.
8. zook, my new favorite westernerd of all time.

The post crushes: a new list by the makers of the old list appeared first on I Will Dare.

superman never made any money for saving the world from solomon grundy

Jodi Chromey — Mon, 11 Oct 2004 16:17:52 +0000

after consulting with the minion and the artguy about my sudden illness and all its symptoms, we have come to the conclusion that it can be nothing but the plague. the minion said she was so sick for three days last week that she was pretty sure she was dying. i can’t hardly wait.

i told her if i’m not all better and chipper by the 21st of October that i will probably have to kill her. she totally understood.

and as if things couldn’t get worse, superman died, which has made me much sadder than i thought it would.

The post superman never made any money for saving the world from solomon grundy appeared first on I Will Dare.