going to hell Archives · I Will Dare

Going to Hell Reason #983: The hurricane sponsorship

Jodi Chromey — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 21:26:20 +0000

Chatting with Wolfdogg earlier this afternoon we were discussing Gustav and the scaled-down RNC and all sorts of current events, because we are cosmopolitan, mature, well-informed adults.

At one point I told him how the National Weather Service needed to stop giving the hurricanes such strict, foreboding Germanic names — Katrina, Gustav . . . I’m waiting for Heinrich and Adolf next. I went on to tell him how Hurricane Joe wouldn’t do much damage, and that nobody would be afraid of Hurricane Kaylee.

He suggested that Hurricane Jodi might be a bit formidable, not weakening over land and threatening everyone everywhere. We all know Hurricane Jodi would fuck some shit up and make Canada scared.

Then he went on to wonder why there wasn’t a Hurricane Jamba Juice yet, and went on to suggest that maybe companies should sponsor tropical storms. I told him the idea was brilliant and all the company’s sponsorship money could go right to the recovery effort. It’s a corporate win-win situation. They’d get exposure and the victims of mother nature would have immediate funds available to help with rebuilding. It’s called synergy, and I’m surprised someone hasn’t done it yet.

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reasons why i’m going to hell, a quasi-confession from a recovering catholic

Jodi Chromey — Wed, 02 Feb 2005 16:07:17 +0000

1. Every time I hit the nytimes.com front page (which is like 93,928) and see that story about the pope in the hospital, I immediately start singing “the pope’s gonna die” to the tune of the ‘Mats’ “Johnny’s Gonna Die”
2. I practice self-love (a lot)
3. I totally covet they neighbor’s house because of its mold-free carpet
4. I want to rain down hellfire and damnation upon the head of Shaky McDougal because he got a kickass job by totally taking credit for my last three years of work

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reason #458 why i’m going to hell

Jodi Chromey — Fri, 21 Feb 2003 14:19:57 +0000

upon hearing fo the Tragedy at a nightclub in Rhode Island all i could think was, “dude, great white’s still playing?”

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why i’m going straight to hell reason #458

Jodi Chromey — Mon, 29 Jul 2002 20:17:59 +0000

eavesdropping. i can’t stop– even when it doesn’t concern me i am an evil, evil, evil, wrongdoing eavesdropper. i can’t help myself.

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