the bowlers are all very concerned about my education.

last night i sat at my perch behind the bar copyediting a business plan for my dad. he had to sub for the American Legion team, so i was left to my own devices. i kinda of like that because then i can be as snarky as i wanna be, and when the bowlers hit on me it’s not so creepy because you know my dad’s not watching.

but last night they were most concerned about my homework. i tried to explain that right now i wasn’t doing homework and really i only take one sorta weird writing class. they couldn’t quite grasp that it wasn’t a college class and just a class for the pure joy of taking a class. even young blake, who can’t even drink, was concerned with what i was doing.

“this is your homework,” he asked?
“no, it’s a business plan for my dad,” i said. “i’m just copyediting.”
“oh, they’re not very good, are they?” he asked, pointing at the packet filled with my pink editing marks.
“yeah, not so much.”

kent, as usual, was the most concerned.
“you know someday you’re gonna have to graduate,” kent said.
“i’m not in school right now,” i told him.
“what you got like 10 degrees? a PhD in philosophy, a masters in microbiology and a BA in table candle making?”
“no.”
“no wonder your dad has to work so hard,” he said, pointing towards dad who was bowling on lanes one and two. “he has to pay for all that schooling.”
“oh no he doesn’t,” i said. “i support myself thankyourverymuch.”
“sure, what do you get with a degree in underwater basket weaving?”
“$7.50 an hour.”

of course the night got progressively worse, as i read this business plan written by my dad’s lawyer’s secretary. i was furious, because bad writing makes my heart hurt. i know not everyone can be a writer, but i think anyone who works in a law office should know the difference between grate and great. i mean really? does this lawyer get paid with chickens and hickory nuts? come on!