My cousin Christopher got married last week. In an hour I will leave for sister #2’s housewarming party. I think sister #3 will make the announcement to the extended family that she’s pregnant. Unofficial sister #5, and 20-year-best friend of the family, Jodi Hanson will also make known she’s pregnant with her third child.

This is entirely more domestic bliss than any single 29-year-old woman should have to face in a two-week period.

I get lonely, a lot. Lonesome is me, especially on dark, cold winter nights. But generally, I think I am happy. This revelation came upon me last night during a discussion I had with a fellow backwash columnist.

She was feeling quite lonely. I told her that I can totally relate. I am the queen of lonely. Or at least I used to be.

Maybe it’s the long, bright sunshiney days of summer. Maybe it’s because I am starting to feel comfortable in my (dare I say it) career. Maybe I am just beginning to accept who I am.

But it seems to have been a long time since I’ve been lonely. There was a bout of loneliness a couple of weeks ago, but I didn’t wallow in it. Which is a refreshing change of pace for me.

Strong, independent, single woman, that’s me.

Of course, I can convince myself of this. Convincing my family and friends is a completely different story.

Family gatherings can be quite trying. We’re all Minnesotans born and bred. I think it’s a mid-western thing. . . but being unmarried by 25 pretty much makes you a spinster. Might as well get 12 cats and call it a night, there is no hope for you.

Which pisses me off to no end.

For Christ’s sake I am ONLY 29. I am just getting to know myself, how on earth could I ever get married before now? To do so would have been the biggest mistake in my entire life (and I’ve made a lot of mistakes).

You’d think my family would embrace my independence, my fledgling happiness. Instead they question my sexuality (because we all know any 29-year-old woman who is not married or otherwise coupled up is clearly a lesbian), they question my “normalcy” and generally just second-guess my entire life.

*Sigh*

my uncles tease me that it’s all that “book learning.” they’ve come to the conclusion that college education=spinsterhood. This makes me giggle. Being that I am the only member of my entire family to graduate from college thus far (though many have attended), I can see how this formula would make perfect sense to them.

Maybe there is something to it. Maybe education has opened my eyes to all the world has to offer and makes me not so eager to settle so young in life.

Maybe they are full of shit too.

This column is a little pep talk to myself. Sorta of psyching myself up for the onslaught that awaits me this afternoon.

These large family gatherings tend to devastate me. I forget that I am happy alone. I forget I like my life and what I am doing. These gathering make me second-guess myself, my life.

These gatherings leave me feeling like there is something wrong with me. That there is something inherently wrong inside of me that makes men not want to love me. There is something weird, off, that I was not meant to be loved.

Because people don’t realize that when they tease you about your lack of love life, that’s what it sounds like to the single.

They say, “so Jodi any boyfriends?
And I hear, “so Jodi can’t you see that no man will ever love you?”

They say, “when are you gonna get married?”
And I hear, “married? You? Men don’t come that dumb.”

So why in the hell do I got to these things?

It reinforces my resolve. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and what not. I like being different and their odd fascination somehow makes me feel like I am doing something right.

Really, they don’t intend to be cruel. They are just curious.

I am an alien in their land of marriage and babies. They feel the need to make me assimilate.

Must. . . not. . . assimilate.

At least not for the time being. I am sure some day some sweet, swank prince will come in and sweep me off my feet and the word marriage won’t make me heart race with fear and my world go grey.

But, until then, I will be my own sweet, swank self and not assimilate to all those married bastards!