Responsibilities include, but are not limited to:

• Providing creative and innovative solutions for the amusement and development of the Supergenius’ happiness
• Researching and submitting Supergenius work to various clients and literary magazines
• Nagging the Supergenius to do the things she really ought to be doing
• Advising the Supergenius on strategic things and to facilitate in industry-leading stuff
• Fetching Eurydice from wherever she might be, generally in Ruby or the Fortress of Solitude
• Analyzing and documenting any romantic or platonic relationship activity that might be worthy of analysis and documentation
• Collaborating with an internal team of multiple personalities to evaluate and communicate the best solutions for the Supergenius and the world
• Handling correspondence between the Supergenius and her fan
• Preparing for and attending daily viewings of Dawson’s Creek
• Implementing and performing dances when the mood hits
• Wrangling cookies
• Coordinating and conducting new hire orientation and training
• Special projects

Qualified candidates must have the following:

• 2 – 5 years of relevant experience
• Proficient at discussing the genius of Liz Phair, Mary Gaitskill, and Bret Michaels
• Extremely tolerant of whining and procrastination
• Strong ability to prioritize and meet quickly changing moods
• A profound knowledge about the intricacies of The Replacements
• Strong follow-up and an ability call the Supergenius on her bullshit
• Self-motivated
• Likes a challenge and takes initiative
• Good taste in music and literature a plus

Take a look at what you can expect when you join our moderately successful, entirely unmotivated, and slightly slackalactic team:

• Outstanding work environment at the lovely and modern Supergenius HQ
• Inspiring leadership
• 2 hour in-depth training program
• Career advancement opportunities

Our goal is to reward our employees for their hard work through a comprehensive compensation package that includes:

• All the cookies you can eat
• Ongoing, comprehensive training
• Flexible hours and afternoon naps
• Free Diet Coke with lime
• Assigned, on-site parking right next to the building
• Ability to work in your pajamas

Supergenius, Inc. is an acknowledged leader in a high profile, emerging field that is so emerging it still doesn’t have a name. Energy and inventiveness combined with high-tolerance and quick wit is much more important than most anything else. In other words, this position is a perfect fit for an “up-and-comer” who is looking to be a key contributor to a high-growth organization.

If it sounds like Supergenius, Inc. might be the place to waste your time and invest your passionate approach to kicking ass, attach your credentials (please include cover letter, resume, and two cookies), and send that treasure to:
jodichromeysupergenius@gmail.com

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Okay. I am a little ashamed to admit this, but I have not left Supergenius HQ since Tuesday. It’s Friday today. I went outside last night to check the mail just to make sure the outside still existed. It does. From what I could tell in the dark it was still cold and covered in snow just like I left it.

I haven’t spoken actual words to a human being since Christmas. I have done some singing out loud because sometimes you just gotta do that. It has gotten to the point where I’m talking to the cats inside my head because speaking seems like it would take too much energy.

For a little bit, I thought about feeling bad about all this. How could I be so lazy? So anti-social? Then I remembered that I didn’t really have any plans and it’s not like I canceled or avoided plans to stay home. It just worked out that way.

I don’t really feel bad. I feel a little guilty for being so decadent with my sloth. But I gotta say it’s been really nice and peaceful.

Don’t worry, the hermitude comes to an end tomorrow. I have an actual party to attend. In fact, it’s my favorite holiday party of the year — Seamus’ Annual Re-gifting party. We started it last year. Everyone has to bring their crappiest, most inappropriate, tackiest Christmas gift. Or they have to go buy one. Or they just wrap up something from their house. It’s so fun! We had a blast last year.

This year I am giving away Joshua Ferris’ Then We Came to the End to some poor unsuspecting party goer.

The post Day 9: A confession appeared first on I Will Dare.

I can’t think of a better way to spend a rainy Friday afternoon then sitting in the comfy green chair with Junot Diaz.

The post Whiskey Foxtrot Hotel — I *heart* outages appeared first on I Will Dare.