On this day in 2009 I lost my last corporate, cubicle-based job. When the economic times got rough, the company blogger had to get going. As far as layoffs go it wasn’t too shabby. Shabby was when I got laid off from Hell, Inc. (a mere eighteen months before) and I had to introduce myself to the Canadian in charge of firing me. Let it be known that having to introduce yourself to your boss before being fired is one of the more dehumanizing elements of Corporate America (or Canada as the case may be).

No, my second layoff was cupcakes and sprinkles. Mark, my boss, was devastated — pale and shaky-voiced, apologetic and genuinely sorry. Malmsy & Jess, the other two in our four-person marketing team were equally shook. It was nice to know I was going to be missed even though I was only at The Nerdery for like six months. I did go on to be a contract blogger for them for many years. It was nice, but this is not about what awesome people they are.

This is about what an awesome person I am. Obviously. Because I am the one who has managed to pay her mortgage by herself for the past five years without having to get up everyday and wear uncomfortable pants and go to an office and slowly wither away under fluorescent lights.

Of course I am also the one who is often more broke than I have been since my twenties and who has to eschew buying things that I want to buy in favor of paying the stupid internet bill. But that is just stuff and things and if being a freelancer has taught me anything it is to be mindful of who I give my money to and what I’m willing to spend it on. That’s not a bad thing. I don’t need more stuff anyway. I have more stuff than any one person needs. I have so much stuff that some of the stuff just sits around gathering dust for years without being touched.

Here’s the thing, I can say with all certainty that I am happier now than I have ever been in my entire life. Even when I’m freaking out about the balance in my checking account or bummed that I have to miss that concert, I’m still happier than I ever was at my nine-to-five. Even when I’m annoyed or cranky or have to do a task that is boring, I’m still happier doing it in my soft pants from the confines of a La-Z-Grrl.

Frankly, I’m pretty fucking proud of myself. I never thought I could do this. I never thought it could last this long. Every year when I celebrate my unemploymentiversary I say “I just want to keep going until fall.” Here’s to making it through to the fall.

The post Celebrating 5 Years of Paying the Mortgage without a Real Job appeared first on I Will Dare.

That is, I couldn’t remember anything impacting me until I lost my job a few weeks ago. As I was going through the hooha of being layed off semi-listening as HR went through what it all means, I only half paid attention as she yammered on about COBRA.

Here’s why. When I was layed off in March 2008 continuing my health insurance using COBRA was so ridiculously cost prohibitive (something like $500 a month) that I became a member of the uninsured. Being a statistic rules!

But as the woman from HR went on, I heard her say, “and you can thank Obama for that.”

And I was all, “What?”

She then went on to explain how the stimulus package included mad piles of COBRA subsidies so if’n I wanted to continue my medical and dental coverage it’d only cost me like $113 a month.

Can I get a HELL YES?

Nothing screams I’m an adult like the sigh of relief you heave knowing you have insurance. You know what else screams adulthood? Kitchen appliances. My beloved toaster and coffee maker have been joined by an actual blender and a hand mixer now. They make quite a little picture of domesticity in my still only half-painted kitchen.

Insurance and appliances. This is the hot, hot content you can expect during Unemployment II the Electric Boogaloo.

The post I am Obama’s policies in action appeared first on I Will Dare.

Tomorrow will be my first first-day-of-work since 1999. I have a little bit of the nervous jitters. Okay, I have a lot of them. For the past three nights my sleep has been filled with work anxiety dreams. Mostly of the finding people from my old job working at the new job variety. It’s weird. And, in the dream, it was always a happy discovery. Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me that I will like the people at the new job as much as I loved my co-workers.

Most of my anxiety centers on things like: will they like me? who will I eat lunch with? what should I wear? Which are typical fears, right?

The one thing I don’t worry about is the actual work. I am so excited about the job that I really cannot wait to get started. My mind still boggles over the idea that someone is going to pay me to blog. Can you believe that? Can you? Because most days I still can’t.

So here we are. The last day of my unemployment. I feel like I should do something to mark the occasion, something more than watch delectable Sam cook in a marathon of Top Chef re-runs. What that something is, I do not know. What I do know is that tomorrow I have to go to work and that feels pretty fucking good.

The post This is the last day of our unemployment – oh-ho-ho appeared first on I Will Dare.

The post Like a job in and of itself appeared first on I Will Dare.

The post Answers to the question ‘So what do you do now?’ appeared first on I Will Dare.