I know he’s a used car salesman for two reasons:
1.) Memorial Day weekend he had a party where a high number of individuals appeared wearing t-shirts about the HUGE DODGE TENT EVENT
2.) Last night as I was falling asleep/eavesdropping I heard someone say, and I quote, “I fucking sold a Chrysler Sebring today.” I could not tell from his tone of voice whether this was a good thing or a bad thing.
3.) There was also an argument about a Cadillac, this was not a good thing because I could tell from the voices that they were angry.

They generally drink a lot of Lite beer and listen to old 70s rock (witness a few weekends ago when they decided to play “Don’t Fear the Reaper” three times in a row). However, last night, for unknown reasons they listened to annoying R&B with a lot of bass. I waited to be shaken from my bed ala Fred Flintstone by the booming.

It didn’t happen, because I woke up at 7 a.m. this morning delightfully rested. Oh yes, my body has decided that waking up between 7 and 7:30 a.m. is a perfectly good thing to do. I blame it on the birds.

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As many of you know in November the Canadian company that bought Jasc back in 2004 decided it was going to close the Minneapolis office, which is why I lost my job. Last night we had one last hooha to say thank you and goodbye to the office that housed so many of our working hours for nearly a decade.

It was like journeying back to 1999 all over again. The turnout for the get-together was amazing. I think, at one point, there were eighty people there. This is astounding because Jasc was a company that employed about 120 people at its largest. By the time the office closing was announced in November I think the Minneapolis office had dwindled down to fifty or so.

The party was fun and odd, and all the things you look for in a party. Since I am currently unemployed and this copywriting gig has been my only real grown-up job, I learned a lot from my former coworkers last night. For instance, I found out that it’s unusual for people to have such a sentimental attachment to their former place of employment. Especially to have such a fond memory of the place that you go back to say goodbye even though you haven’t worked there for six or more years.

They also told me that the mix of chemistry, that combination of passion and talent is highly unique and it’s not something you find very often at work. If I had a dollar for each time someone said “oh god, I miss working with you” to me or someone near me, I’d be able to take the Internet out for lunch.

I also found out that when you get a group of people together that worked together for so long that you automatically fall back into the old roles you had the last time you were together. It’s like a family, kind of. It was funny because the software developers hung together, like they always do. Marketing sat around and made fun of everyone and each other, like they always do, and IT sat around and gave us disdainful looks, like they always do. It’s as though nothing had changed, though everything had.

At one point last night, Al, the cutest girl on Earth™, BFK, Michelle, and I were seated around a table eating like we had on about 1000 free-lunch Fridays back when we all worked in Customer Service. I looked at them and said, “I keep waiting for Jodie to come over and tell us to hurry it up because there’s a five-minute hold time on the phones.”

It was a party that was so fun that even during the middle of it, I’d lean over to whomever I was sitting next to and say, “This is so awesome.” And really the whole evening was one of those quintessential ‘you had to be there’ type of things. It was good though and it was nice to get a pretty ribbon to put on what will probably become known in Supergenius lexicon as the software years.

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One of the attendees (yes, I am being purposefully obscure here) mentioned how she smoked pot most every night because it helps her sleep.

“Oh,” I said. “I just masturbate.”

There was a stunned silence.

“I must not be doing it right,” she said.

Then the table erupted into laughter and I blushed about a hundred shades of red.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “That just came out before I even had time to think about it.”

Thankfully, because my friends are kind and open-minded souls they thought it was more funny than offensive. This is probably why nobody ever invites me to parties.

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