Comments on: Solicited Advice: How do you deal with the unpleaseable?

By: Ken

Ken — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 03:23:12 +0000

I once had a co-worker that was never happy about anything – Mr. Unhappy. My supervisor and I were talking about an office thing and he said that Mr. Unhappy wasn’t going to be pleased about a particular office thing outcome. I thought about it and asked, “what would make him happy?” The answer, of course, was probably nothing. So we surmised that if he was going to be unhappy no matter what decision was made, then we were free to make any decision we wanted with no regard to Mr. Unhappy … and we were free. It really was a bit of a revelation. Some people just can’t be pleased, so you just need to please yourself and be happy with it.

By: Anaximander

Anaximander — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 03:22:55 +0000

There’s this theory, in quilting – that there has to be a flaw, otherwise you’re attempting to create something perfect, and perfection can only be attained by god. I’m an avowed athiest, but this theory has helped me with design stuff, with dealing-with-unpleasant-family stuff, and with essay writing stuff.

I insert the flaw. I know exactly what they’re going to harp on, so I put it there on purpose, to let them be upset about that one given thing – that I put there on purpose, so they could harp on it, and leave me alone about anything else. Usually the flaw is something trivial, that they’re ridiculous for arguing about anyways, and which only gets sillier the longer it continues, while I can just serenely reply with all sorts of platitudes while I go on my way.

By: Bonny

Bonny — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 23:28:57 +0000

Totally off subject: DID YOU SEE BEVERLY CLEARY tonite on the CBS evening news? 94, doesn’t know what a Kindle is, but otherwise lucid, and enjoying her renaissance.

By: Kevin Fenton

Kevin Fenton — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 12:37:55 +0000

This may or may not help. I was the leader of a small team where two of members complained about everything. I would come back from a meeting and be barraged with thoughts on how stupid the project was and, less explicitly, how poorly I had represented the team’s interest. My boss gave me very good advice: bring them to the meeting. That way, they can’t stand apart and criticize.

I’m also not convinced that we are shackled to adults who insist on continuing to act like jerks.

By: heather

heather — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 03:49:38 +0000

oh, yeah. i have the mother of all unpleaseables as a friend. he is tiresome and frustrating and and and… but, i still love him. *shrug*

i try to reason with him, then i try to change the subject, then i usually yell a little, then i avoid him for a while.

rinse. repeat.

it’s the only way i’ve found to maintain a friendship while not wanting to kill either him or myself. but, he is still a definite psychic vampire, so i’ve found i have to reduce my exposure, especially if i’m feeling sensitive or stressed out. it sounds mean, but i’ve tried every trick i ever learned from my psych nurse mother – to no avail. it’s better than cutting him loose, isn’t it?