The presents were all opened and the dinner eaten, when the family settled in for a bit of game playing. Sister #2 had gotten Sister #4 a Deal or No Deal game at Walgreens (Tony got me a showerhead and a welcome mat from Home Depot), that they had popped into the DVD player.
Mamala was up, making the deals or no deals and the family coached her on which cases to open. As with most any game we play, there’s a lot of noise, talking over each other, and trash talk.
“I don’t know,” Mom said. “Maybe I should go with case 12.”
“Pickle Fucker,” Sister #2 said.
The room fell silent.
“Did you hear that?” Sister #3 asked me.
“I think she just called Mom a Pickle Fucker,” I said.
Then there was chaos.
“I didn’t call Mom a Pickle Fucker,” Sister #2 tried to explain. “I was just saying it out loud. I was thinking of Clerks II.”
Apparently it was on her mind, since the Stink and I both got the DVD for Christmas.
“No,” I said. “I’m pretty sure you called Mom a Pickle Fucker.”
“You did,” Sister #4 backed me up. “You called Mom a Pickle Eff-er.”
“Look she won’t even say it,” Sister #3 said. “She still says F.”
And that’s kind of how my Christmas celebration went. I hope yours was as fun and festive.