did you break in while i was at target?

General rules, when something is just dreadful: find 2 or 3 good things and mention them first. “I really liked the title. It made me wonder what would happen, and it got me hooked on the story!” “Isabella is such a realistic character. This bit of dialogue here between Isabella and Charles is the heart of the story—I’d love to see it expanded.”

Then mention some things you didn’t like, but in a nice way. “The story has so much potential, but when I found at the end that it was just a dream, I felt cheated, like I’d used up all my energy caring about something that didn’t matter. I was reading in a writer’s magazine that it’s kind of weak to end stories with a dream, because the reader feels cheated.” And, “Isabella is so intriguing, and she seems so strong throughout most of the story, but then she goes and makes that sudden decision—it seems so out of character. Do you think you could give us more of a reason why she’d make such a rash decision? I’m really confused about that.”

I’m sure you can finesse your way around the really bad stories. One of my professors said that a lot of people write, but not everyone can be a Writer with a capital W. The people in your workshop will know right away which students are the capital W’s. Some of the non-Writers will be discouraged and quit writing once they see that they’re not as good as most of the class; others will get better as a result of kind-hearted but focused critiques. Like ugly babies, bad stories deserve a little kindness when they’re sent out into the world. Also, since this is early in the class, you can set the tone for kindness rather than cutthroat critiquing.

Although “good use of comic sans” is classic!

(By the way: I read a short story on the internet once and was trying to find it again. I put in some of the key words and found, instead, your diary, which is much better than the story I read. I’ve been reading for a while but just lurking. I have no idea why I came out of lurkerland just now.)