Being the good uncle I was, I drove her there, thinking I was being a hero and saving her from losing any social contacts she once had. When we arrived, she told me not to take her to the school, but instead a “friend’s house”. The friend was a guy she knew whose parents happened to be gone that weekend. She told me to pick her up the next morning, and not to go near her parents house because they didn’t know she was in town.

I spent the night in my Datsun station wagon behind a grocery store.

When I picked her up, she was drunk, reeking of pot and had half of the clothes she brought stuffed in a garbage bag. She demanded McDonalds food for breakfast, and of course had no money. After eating, she passed out and slept the entire way home.

I snuck her upstairs and into the main bathroom before my parents could see what a state she was in. She emerged all showered and fresh 3 hours later, and had dinner with my parents while describing a fictional social event.

My parents forgot all about the fact that it was my birthday until three weeks later. I got a check.