Responsible Individual vs. The Economic Anxiety

This is a picture of Form 1095-B from the Department of Treasury. Sure it’s to prove that I had health insurance all year and used for tax purposes, but ever since I caught the “Name of Responsible Individual” field with my name in it, I’ve been thinking of it as a sort of talisman to bring me good luck in these days of economic anxiety.

Economic anxiety is the worst of all anxieties*. I’m under a triple threat at the moment: impending tax deadline, mortgage due, and a work slow down. I spend a lot of my day freaking right the fuck out about this and when that gets to be too much my brain pretends money is not an issue and I remain blissfully ignorant until my brain’s like “holy shit, remember how you’re gonna be destitute and living in a van down by the river and you cannot even afford a van?” Then I freak right the fuck out again.

But I have a piece of paper here that says I am a responsible individual and that kind of person hardly ever lives in a van down by the river. Right?

RIGHT?

*at least of the anxieties I experience. This designation is subject to change without warning depending on my mood, day of the week, and which of my myriad anxieties is being a total dick at the moment.

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