I’ve been looking at this empty white box on and off since about 8 o’clock this morning. That’s when I finally made it out of bed though I’d been up since 6. I spent the early parts of the morning weeping in bed not so much about the Trump victory which has devastated me, but about all the people in my self-built echo chamber who were reaching out to the marginalized, the scared, the people who really have to bear the brunt of this horrifying chain of events.
The kindness I saw broke my heart because I thought for sure we’d see such kindness reflected in the outcome of this election.
Yes, I’m one of those shitty white feminists who was positive white women would do the right thing, would stand up for those with less privilege. I was wrong. I saw the election through privilege-tinted/poll-believing/naive glasses and boy howdy is it painful to see how things really are in the harsh light of day.
I did not expect to wake to the racist overthrow of our government, but here it is. I see a lot of my lefty friends offering condolences to the LGBTQIA community, Latinx, Muslims, People of Color, and women. That last one definitely needs a caveat, because white women did this. Fifty-three percent of us voted for Donald Trump according to CNN.
White ladies, what the fuck? I am ashamed. So deeply, deeply ashamed.
I’ve been texting with my niece, Jaycie, who is telling me about how scared she is and also that she’s gobbling down lunch so she can join the other students at the University of Oregon to protest.
Here is what I told her and what I’m going to try to hold onto today and tomorrow and in January:
“It’s okay to be afraid. The unknown is always scary. But soon we will know what we are up against and then we can fight.”