Eight Things About the Dream I Had Last Night

  1. I had a job working road construction along with two boys I had unrequited crushes on and their wives.
  2. One was anxious to talk to me because he felt he broke my heart (he did) when his wife told me this, I screeched “It was twenty years ago” (it was) and “I’m over it” (I am).
  3. The other one couldn’t believe I was being paid $75 an hour to paint stripes on the road.
  4. I was super judgmental about shabbily painted roads and faded road stripes.
  5. Which was weird because the job was just a cover for the fact that I was a superhero.
  6. My superpower was creating deadly icicles out of thin air and then using them as weapons. Sometimes I made ice cages and shit like that. I was like Zan, the not-cool, WonderTwin.
  7. My unnamed, unseen arch-nemesis killed my miltary-man husband with an icicle on our first anniversary and stuffed his body, upright in our hall closet.
  8. I relived the moment of finding him and holding his falling body in my arms whenever I went home.
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