“What’s it like to be so tall?” Is a question I get asked on a nearly daily basis from strangers I meet out in the world, from people I know, and from curious Internet looky-loos.
It’s a hard question to answer because I don’t know what it’s like NOT to be so tall. I have no other experience to compare it to. I’ve been over six feet for thirty years, and 6’5″ for about the last twenty. I have zero memories of being average height. The average white American woman is 5’5″. I think I hit that sometime in third grade, so by the time I was nine.
Since my sixteen-year-old nephew Max has taken up residence at Supergenius HQ (have I mentioned how ridiculously happy this makes me? Because it does) a few of my more clothing-optional habits have had to change. Specifically, the habit wherein I tromp around the upstairs naked going about whatever business I have to go about while upstairs. Usually this involves things like regular hygiene, sleeping, and laundry.
Max’s visit has coincidentally coincided with a week where I am extremely social. This requires a different standard of hygiene than my usual angry hermit wallowing in my own filth standard. To that end, I woke up this morning and took a shower.
I don’t often take showers because I like to soak in a lavender-scented tub for grand stretches at a time while listening to audiobooks. Also, the shower situation at Supergenius HQ is deplorable for anyone of unusual height.
There are two showers. One in the master bathroom and one in the dusty & crusty bathroom. I don’t know what you call the bathroom that is not located in the master bedroom. I call it dusty & crusty because it hardly gets any use and thus falls into dusty crustiness.
On the rare occasion when I must shower, I often opt for the dusty & crusty bathroom, because at least it’s a regular-sized shower. It sucks though because the shower head is really low and rinsing stuff out of my hair is a giant pain in the ass.
However, today I thought it would just be easier if I showered in the master bedroom. All my clothes are in there, there are two doors between my naked body and any other human being. It just made good sense. Man, did it suck.
The shower head in the master bathroom is oddly, higher up. This means when I push it up as far as it goes the water hits me in the chin, rather than in the middle of my chest. Not too shabby really. However that shower is narrow as fuck.
I’m not kidding. The shower is so narrow that if I drop the soap I can literally not bend over and pick it up, because my body from waist to head is longer than the shower is wide. If I drop the soap or anything in the shower while showering, I have to get outside the shower to pick it up.
Do you know what kind of bullshit that is? The worst kind of bullshit. Like why make the shower head a decent height if the people who could enjoy such a treat cannot bend over in the shower? It seems like a cruel prank played by people who have no idea what it’s like to be so tall.