The Ballad of the Young Chef & the Old Fool

It’s been a long time since I’ve dipped my toes into the dating pool. After a million billion bad experiences I just kind of hung it up. I packed myself away and decided some people are meant to be alone. And I was okay with being that person. I really was. I have good friends that adore me, family that loves me, and that was going to be enough. I would make it enough.

But then 2015 rolled around and I decided I was going to live out loud. I was going to stop convincing myself that nothing was enough. So at the end of January I placed a personal ad, and a Young Chef in Wisconsin answered it, and he was smitten. So was I.

We texted for two months straight. Morning, noon, and night. We shared our likes, dislikes, our histories, and our hopes for the future. We shared a million selfies, some of them sexy. We even had a few fights. A few doozies. He was angry because I had trust issues. I was angry because he refused to meet me for so long. But we seemed to come through it on the other side.

It’s been a sweet and charming two months. A relationship in the earliest stages considering we hadn’t even met. But I was hopeful. So hopeful that I even began to mention him in passing on I Will Dare. I don’t talk about relationships a lot here. Partly because I always end up looking foolish when it all slips through my fingers. Partly because a long time ago I had a few readers who overstepped their bounds. But, you know. . .

Oh, fuck it, the Young Chef made me giddy and hopeful. I would read his words and parts of my heart started to beat again — all those parts that I had packed away a long time ago they were alive and they were singing. My face hurt from smiling so much.

And because I’m not quite a total fool. I was a little wary. I questioned his motives, his intentions, what he wanted. But he calmly reassured me, and I fucking fell for it.

Today we were supposed to meet. Finally, after two months of textual courting we were going to meet. 4 p.m. was the witching hour.

And then. . . well, you can see the text above with your own eyes.

Of course he’s already blocked my number so I will get no closure, even though I tried.

Oh Darling Ones, I am fucking wrecked. I feel like such a stupid old fool. I’m forty-two, I should know better by now. I am sad and I am crying, and I should take the advice I gave Ryan Adams, and not blog about it. But here I am, blogging about it. This is the very essence of 2004 blogging. All hot take and messy, sticky emotion that doesn’t make a lot of sense.

Expect plenty of emo bullshit in the next 24 to 48 hours. You’ve been warned.

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16 Comments

  1. FS 27.Mar.15 at 3:27 pm

    Sorry, Chromey. That’s fucking bullshit behavior.

    Reply
    1. Jodi 29.Mar.15 at 11:57 am

      Yes, yes it is. Also, it always makes me laugh when you call me Chromey. It reminds me of all the guys I knew in college.

      Reply
  2. todd 27.Mar.15 at 3:40 pm

    His loss. He’s a moron and you’re better off.

    Reply
    1. Jodi 29.Mar.15 at 11:58 am

      While logically I know that. My heart isn’t quite feeling it yet. Thanks for your kind words.

      Reply
  3. shokkou 27.Mar.15 at 5:58 pm

    Well what a lousy shit that man is! You put your heart out there and he doesn’t even have the balls to meet you? Cowardly shit. You feel bad now but you gained more than you’ve lost if you can hold on to the feeling of joy. It’s such a good feeling when you connect with another person. But fuck that asshole. May he be afflicted with a terminal case of bleeding piles! Twit.

    It’s your world, Gem, so fluff up your deflated heart, dust it off, place it back on your sleeve where it belongs and live out loud with MORE COWBELL.

    Reply
    1. Jodi 29.Mar.15 at 11:59 am

      Thank you. And thanks for calling me Gem. . . it’s been a long, long time since someone has pulled that nickname out of the ether.

      Reply
  4. Rich 27.Mar.15 at 7:57 pm

    Cowardly shitweasel! Hell with ‘im.

    Reply
    1. Jodi 29.Mar.15 at 11:59 am

      Thank you!

      Reply
  5. Lori 27.Mar.15 at 7:57 pm

    You. This. Ugh. It’s so amazing that you put yourself out there, and so shitty that it ended like this. Blocked? What? Why? I hate this for you. I love your writing and your humor and your reading recommendations. I’ve followed you for years and years and adore you without actually knowing you. And this jackass had the chance to really know you and blew it? His loss. You are worth so, so much more. Rage today and be better tomorrow.

    Reply
    1. Jodi 29.Mar.15 at 12:00 pm

      Thank you so much. I often forget there are people who actually want to know me.

      Yesterday was pretty icky. Today is better. Tomorrow will be even better. Falling is so easy and forgetting takes too long.

      Reply
  6. Lori 27.Mar.15 at 7:58 pm

    ETA: You are not old. Until you’re 86. Then you’re old.

    Reply
  7. Lori 27.Mar.15 at 8:00 pm

    He’s probably not even a chef. He’s probably working the drive up tonight and couldn’t get away from the fry bin. I bet he smells like pickle juice and old grease.

    Reply
  8. Myoung 27.Mar.15 at 8:22 pm

    No! As a long-term lurker on this page (many years), I can no longer sit idly by. That twat doesn’t deserve you. What a coward fuck. You are a fucking amazing person who brings so much to so many – even a complete stranger like me. Fuck him. You are so much more than he knows he lost.

    Reply
    1. Jodi 29.Mar.15 at 12:02 pm

      Wow. Thanks for delurking just to cheer me up. I really appreciate it & thank you for the reminder that I can bring so much to people I don’t even know yet. Thank you thank you thank you.

      Reply
  9. dainec 27.Mar.15 at 10:08 pm

    Ugh, ugh, ugh. I am so sad for your heart. What bullshit. As everyone else has said, it is his loss, and you are amazing and very lovable.

    Reply
    1. Jodi 29.Mar.15 at 12:02 pm

      Thank you!

      Reply

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