The Best Things Ever: An Abridged List* by Someone Who Hasn’t Really Left the House Since 2014

I haven’t gone totally cockoo for Cocoa Puffs (yet). The boring and achey back injury really amped up the angry hermitude. It’s hard to leave the house when you can barely leave the couch. Don’t worry, I haven’t been wholly sans human interaction. Sister #3 brought me some pain meds on Saturday and the rest of my family came over to Supergenius HQ on Sunday for Family Dinner.

My back is getting much better. Mostly now I just wish I had someone who would rub the top of the left side of my butt really hard. I suspect that would make all my pain go away.

Do you not care about this? This the most boring thing someone has ever typed up? Of course you don’t. You came here for an easily digestible list of the best things ever. So I present to you, in reverse order, the best things ever.

  1. Cozy blanket + cold day + warm cat thawing icy feet
  2. The feel of a cold and tingly Coke (or Diet Coke) on a sore throat
  3. Singing out loud with your favorite song
  4. Making someone laugh
  5. Cookies
  6. The smell of lilacs the first week of June on a sunny day in Minnesota
  7. Good books
  8. Ice cream
  9. The first six seconds of The Replacements’ song “I Will Dare”
  10. Pizza
  11. Orgasms (solo division)
  12. Freshly made banana bread slathered with peanut butter
  13. Orgasms (with someone else division)

*As stated this is an abridged list, also it is subject to change on a whim and without notice.

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