Sexy Baby & The Labiaplasty That Haunts Me

Saturday I watched Sexy Baby which labels itself, “a documentary about sexiness & the cyber age.” The movie’s been knocking around in my brain since I watched most of it that afternoon. I say most because I went off the rails a little bit and stopped paying attention.

Basically the movie follows two women and one young woman as they traverse the minefield that is sexiness and the internet. The most interesting is Winni, a twelve-year-old when the doc opens, who has to deal with parents, Facebook, and the urge to look more grownup than she is, which translate to sexiness or slutiness depending on who the judgement-maker is. She says some wonderful smart things and is by far the best thing in the movie.

Nichole is a thirty-year-old adult film actress, stripper, and recently married woman wanting to have kids. Her story is sad because she’s struggling with trying to get pregnant and her husband comes off as not at all comforting or empathetic. The Nichole parts kind of bored me.

Then there was Laura, a twenty-two-year-old kindergarten teacher in North Carolina who was going to get labiaplasty because her first serious boyfriend made fun of her labia and told her she wasn’t like most porn stars and it would be a bigger turn on if she was.

If I could have one wish I would wish for three more wishes, and then I would use one of those to wish that any guy who says something like this to a woman would never ever get to have sex again. Not ever, with anyone, maybe not even themselves.

The comment this fucker said to her made her so self-conscious that this poor woman get a second job to pay for labiaplasty. And the doctor who performs it feeds right into her insecurity and I tried to firebomb him with my thoughts.

AND AND AND the worst part? Warning this is really bad. If you have a weak stomach skip the rest of this paragraph. They show the extraneous labia she has clipped off after it has been removed from her body. The doctor tosses it onto a medical tray. It’s gross. Feel free to vomit for ten hours. My stomach hurts recalling it.

Besides making me sick to my stomach the whole thing broke me right in two. She was so young and her mom went with her for the procedure, weeping the entire time. Her mom kept saying “I just want you to be happy.”

Ugh and thinking about it makes my entire body sag as though my bones were made of sadness. I wanted to reach through the screen so I could hug her and tell her there was nothing wrong with her body that it was lovely and perfect and anyone who would make her feel bad about her labia is not worth one millisecond of her time.

Incidentally, this was when I went off the rails, live-tweeting my horror & outrage.

The documentary is okay, more anecdotal than anything concrete. They only speak to the experience of three middle to upper class white women, so that’s a problem. Plus, all three are conventionally attractive as far as current western white beauty standards go. But it’s worth your time just for young Winni’s story. You can stream it on Netflix.

I have more to say about this, but it’s going to have to wait until tomorrow. Try to contain your excitement.

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