Lizard Eye vs. The Fungus Gnats

I’ve been FORTY! for exactly thirteen days and now I have a lizard eye. Specifically, I have a lizard-y eyelid. It seems a portion of my left (and only my left) eyelid has decided it become painfully dry and flaky. It is annoying and the urge to constantly pick at it is great. However, picking at it hurts and the urge to not be in pain is even greater.

What does this mean? It means that FORTY! is the magical age where you Google shit like “flaky eyelid,” “do you put eye cream on your eyelids?,” and “is eyelid one word or two?”

Since I was already in the Google Danger Zone (really, I’m surprised I did not discover I have a rare form of eyelid cancer and have about 8 minutes to live), I set out to see what was going on with the herblings.

I spend a lot of time worrying about the Oregano. As you can see above, it is not thriving. It’s not dying either. It’s sort of just maintaining. This is not acceptable. Oregano’s siblings Cilantro, Mustard, and Sage are kicking ass at thriving. I still don’t know what is wrong with the Oregano.

However, I have discovered what is wrong with the Chives, Garlic Chives, and Sweet Marjoram. It seems we have a case of Fungus Gnats. Isn’t that just about the nastiest thing ever? Fungus Gnats. Because fungus and gnats weren’t disgusting enough on their own.

The second I discovered I had The Fungus Gnats all my hippie, organic, pesticide-free ideals went right out the window and I set about figuring out what kind of Napalm/Agent Orange/Toxin concoction I needed to eradicate these teeny-winged pests. Apparently you can use something called Neem Concentrate, which sounds kind of scary. You can also use something called Mosquito Dunks, which sound kind of awesome.

Some super-hippie on a message board suggested sprinkling the invaded plants with cinnamon which will kill the fungus and thus with their food source destroyed, also the Fungus Gnats. Since I had cinnamon in the house I went with that option. This had the benefit of helping erase the final, clinging odors of the Great Father’s Day Fried Chicken Failure of Twenty-Twelve. So there’s that. I’m still totally getting me some Mosquito Dunks though, because that name is so awesome.

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8 Comments

  1. shokkou 19.Jun.12 at 9:00 am

    Get yourself some Johson’t No More Tears Baby Shampoo and, with a washcloth, gently wash your eyelid every day with a warm water and shampoo. I had the same thing but on my lower lid about a year ago and the shampooing cleared it up pretty quickly.

    Reply
    1. Jodi 19.Jun.12 at 11:27 am

      What does the shampoo do? Right now I have it slathered with some junk I can’t remember the name of. it’s for super dry skin. I’ve added baby shampoo to the shopping list just in case my made-up remedy doesn’t work.

      Reply
      1. shokkou 19.Jun.12 at 12:55 pm

        The condition is called blepharitis (inflamed eyelid). The baby shampoo is gentle enough to use near the eyes and cleans the tiny little glands around the base of the eyelashes that sometimes get plugged up from eczema or allergy or whatever is causing the inflammation.

        Reply
        1. Jodi 19.Jun.12 at 12:56 pm

          My lizard skin is in the middle of my eyelid, nowhere near the lashes.

  2. hotrod 19.Jun.12 at 10:36 am

    Hey – you got my birthday present! I figured you’d want some fungus gnats. I needed to level the playing field. My cilantro, mint, and thyme are shriveled, brown ghosts of themselves. Basil, parsley, chives, rosemary, and lavender are all kicking ass, though. I’m sure I am still gonna win this one. Too. Win this one too.

    Reply
    1. Jodi 19.Jun.12 at 11:30 am

      Now I feel a little less guilty about shouting “Take that Hotrod!” every time I squish one of those bastards. They like to divebomb my coffee. Fungus Gnats are total assholes.

      Well, it’s been four weeks since I planted my seeds and they’re doing not too shabby at all. The package said 6 – 8 weeks to harvest. I hope to eating guac with my Cilantro by 4th of July.

      Reply
    2. shokkou 21.Jun.12 at 9:55 am

      That’s okay. It’s still blepharitis. Mine was on my lower lid well below the lashes and my doctor told me to clean it with baby shampoo. Trust Me. :o)

      Reply
  3. NBFB 21.Jun.12 at 11:52 am

    I’ve had blepharitis for some years now – pretty minor. If I don’t wash the lids often (couple times per day, counting in the shower) I can count on getting a stye.

    Reply

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