You don’t know tall: The perils of being a 6’5″ single woman

So Buzzfeed’s got a piece up on tall women dating short men. I’ve wasted most of the morning reading the posts and accompanying comments. A few of may favorites? Not wanting to date shorter men is sexist, Jezebel comments where all these 5’10” women are talking about how hard it is to find taller men, and the Guardian piece where the author admits that 5’10”, while tall, isn’t freakishly tall.

As a member of the freakishly tall female clan (6’5″ in my bare feet), I find all this endlessly fascinating. While I understand what the 5’10” shorties mean when they say they just want a tall hunk of a man to curl into, I can’t help but snort in derision. It’s so snotty, I know. But come on, are the six-foot men really that hard to find? Every guy I know claims to be 6 feet tall (which makes me anywhere from 6’5″ to 7’2″ depending on the man).

I have always, always, always, always dated men shorter than me. I don’t have a choice really, there aren’t a lot of men taller than me. Plus, growing up a taller woman was never that weird. My mom is 5’10” and on his best days my dad might reach 5’7″.

So it was never weird to date shorter guys. In fact, I never even dated someone taller than me until I was in my late, late 20s. I discovered two things:
1.) Height cannot be the only thing you have in common, sadly
2.) It’s weird dating someone taller. I’m used to being the tallest person in the room no matter where I go. Always. So when I’m around someone taller than me I have this constant feeling that someone is reading my newspaper over my shoulder. It’s disconcerting.

While I would like to sit up here on my high horse, I cannot deny that I have rejected men for being too short. I am not comfortable dating a man who is close to a foot shorter than me. Is that sexist? Perhaps, but I don’t care.

That being said, dating a shorter man has more to do with the individual guy then some arbitrary number. I’ve been with 5’10” men who have made me feel like the most attractive, beautiful creature to ever walk the earth, and I’ve been with 6’7″ men who have made me feel like pond scum. I’ve realized, much too late in life, that the way he makes me feel is much more important then what people might think when they see us together.

So why don’t we see more tall women with shorter men? I think it all comes down to self confidence. Shorter men don’t approach tall women because they are sure they will be rejected, tall women don’t approach short men for the same reason.


119 Comments
  • Cassia
    September 25, 2013

    Hey this was a good post. It made me laugh I used to call my self freakishly tall also… At 6’4. When a man lands a woman of our stature Its like big game hunting. Women of all shapes and sizes are beautiful. Although I do know what you mean with the 5’10 tall thing…really? Your funny!

  • Cassia
    September 25, 2013

    I’m sure much taller women are like 6’5 try being 7 ft lol

  • HeckSpawn
    December 4, 2013

    I was married to a beautiful woman that was, at 6’6″, about an inch taller than me. After we broke up, I saw her on the news as the blond half of Guinness’ Tallest Married Couple”

    http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/guinness-world-records-reveals-new-tallest-married-couple-at-the-guinness-world-records-museum-108888564.html

  • Caduceus
    January 20, 2014

    I am six feet and I wish I could find a woman 6’5 or taller to date. I love tall women. I guess it has to do with the fact that I use to be a shorty for most of my childhood and teens. All my girlfriends were taller than me. I am far from insecure about a woman being taller than me. I would love her, cuddle with and hold her like no other!

  • Aki
    February 2, 2014

    There’s something about a tall, broad shouldered woman that makes me pause. I’m def always afraid to approach significantly taller women for fear of rejection(being 5’7 and all…), but I’ve always found taller women to be attractive.

  • Bepina
    September 11, 2014

    Very nicely put – I’m a 6ft4 woman and I hate when people accuse tall women of being sexist because they don’t want to date a shorter guy – I’ve been rejected several times with “If you were shorter I’d date you, but you’re too tall”, and many men make remarks that I’ll never find a boyfriend because of my height, that I look a bit like a monster etc.. I gave up on shorter men because my height bothers them, not because I’m being sexist

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