For some reason I had a party that Uncle Joey from Full House attended. He proceeded to get really very drunk and decided to masturbate in my bathtub. He had the biggest penis I ever saw. It was like an animal’s member. I was angry and told him to stop jerking off and get the hell out of my bathtub. But that Uncle Joey, he wouldn’t listen and instead got jizz all over my bathroom ceiling. He then proceeded to pass out, naked, in my bed with some other party goer.
Since I didn’t know what to do with my Uncle Joey rage, I updated my iPod only to discover that Uncle Joey had replaced all my music with his shitty Alanis Morisette and Poison songs.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get the dream vision of Uncle Joey’s giant penis out of my head.