i’ve been subsisting on cheese and crackers for the last four days. i have issues with thanksgiving turkey. issues that involve much vomit produced by my own body the friday after thanksgiving. this post-thanksgiving vomitting became a holiday tradition for like five years. then i decided that maybe i should stop eating the turkey and the vomitting stopped.
so for thanksgiving dinner i usually have cheese and crackers, mashed potatoes, and dressing. it’s tastier than it sounds. this year there was a delightful addition to my thanksgiving buffet — $50 cheesecake.
usually desert consists of various fruit spooj filled type pies and usually some shitty, shitty gross moldy looking cheesecake provided by my aunt cathy. but this year, i rose up and fought the power. this year i purchased a delectable $50 Godiva cheesecake. this cheescake is so good that you cannot help but let moans of ecstasy escape your lips even as you try to eat the rich chocolately goodness.
and we all know the best part of thanksgiving is the leftovers. i got the leftover cheesecake. well, most of it. i shared some with sister #2, because i could not be held responsible for my own actions should i bring that goodness home with me. this cheesecake is so good that it’s probably illegal in many of the southern states.
so tonight after i finished my dinner of cheese and crackers (cooking an acutal dinner that contained vegetables would have gone against all that this thanksgiving vacation stood for) did i indulge in a slice of that chocaltey orgasm? no, when faced with the decision between $50 cheesecake and a little debbie holiday snack cake. i choose the snack cake. i think there’s officially something wrong with me.